The Grace of Dreams and How They Can Heal
I had a dream last night.
I’m with my family and Anne Delvey is here. (Anna was the focus of the Netflix TV series “Inventing Anna” about a Russian-born German con artist, socialite, and fraudster who pretended to be a wealthy German heiress).
She is seductive and trying to seduce me. I’m reluctant but she reminds me that I slept with her before and that she is also the child of that former relationship.
End of dream.
Wendy and I are reading Michael Singer’s new book “Living Untethered”.
The book is focused on all the “blockages” we all have (most people call them “triggers”) and how releasing those blockages frees up energy flow for more love, creativity, and joy.
Michael Singer is clear that each of us are the creators of our own blocks and triggers.
Anna Delvey is a “trigger”/” block” for me. She reminds me of Donald Trump – she plays the victim, lies, manipulates, argues, and uses half-truths to get her way.
But the dream is telling me that I have an inner Anna Delvey! In a sense, I both slept with her, and I created her!
Of course! As they say in shadow work – “if you spot it, you got it”.
So, what do I do? I’m triggered by this inner Anna Delvey! I can’t stand her! Do I crush her, forcibly remove her, fight with her?
No. I don’t think so. If I do battle with her, I know intuitively that I will turn her into an inner demon or monster and if anything, make her more powerful.
What if I just sat with her? With compassion. Why does she lie, manipulate, argue, and use half-truths to get her way?
Hmmm…maybe because it works. Maybe she feels powerless, and this is her strategy to get her way and to feel powerful.
Hmmm…maybe it is not Anna (or Trump) that triggers me. Maybe it is a sense of feeling powerless. Maybe when that feeling sweeps over me, I call on my inner Anna Delvey to help me feel powerful again. I can argue and manipulate and use half-truths to somehow feel powerful again and to crush the feeling of fear and powerlessness.
Maybe what I am afraid of is not Anna Delvey. Maybe I am afraid of the feeling of fear and powerlessness.
Michael Crichton (the author) told a story about how when he was in 8th grade, he was 6’ 8” tall and weighed only 125 pounds and would get picked on mercilessly. He created an inner protector to keep him safe – his inner protector was the cartoon character the Tasmanian Devil. Whenever anyone picked on him, made fun of him or didn’t like him, he would call on Taz to protect his sensitivity and it was like he would go stone cold. He didn’t feel anything at all.
Later in life, he realized he had outgrown Taz and he literally thanked Taz for keeping him safe and then asked him to go. He did. And Michael began to literally open up and feel in ways he had not been able to before when he hid behind Taz.
When I was about the same age as Michael Crichton, I began a friendship with a new kid in town and I think we spent the next 2 years in non-stop arguments. I got good at it. I knew how to be a bit deceptive, manipulative and tell half-truths to get my way. I turned into the great debater. Then my family went through great turmoil and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty prevailed. My inner Anna Delvey, my inner Donald Trump would lie and argue and tell half-truths to help me to feel certain and powerful in a time of great fear and uncertainty.
What if we ALL create these sorts of inner protectors at some point in our lives – probably in childhood – as some sort of survival tool or coping mechanism?
Mine was argument, manipulation, and half-truths. And the need to be right.
But can I let my inner Anna Delvey go now? Have I long since outgrown her? It might be hard. When I feel fear or powerlessness – the desire to be that sort of manipulative argumentative victim – it’s seductive! LOL!
But maybe I don’t have to do anything at all but bring a compassionate conscious and loving awareness to Anna.
I recall Brugh Joy (who was a master at working with dreams) saying that most of the time, do nothing with a dream. Just bring the patterns and dynamics to consciousness. “Oh! Look at that! I have an inner Anna Delvey. Hmmm…how has she served me? What is her role in my mix of archetypes and patterns that live through me?”
I also recall that in the book Many Lives, Many Masters the author (who was a hypnotherapist and psychiatrist) worked with a young woman client who was a real mess. But weirdly the patient started channeling all sorts of difficult past life experiences and one by one could see the real source of all her own triggers, trauma, and blockages. Simply the act of revealing the SOURCE of all the pain, healed it all in her and about 18 months later was a really happy person.
Dreams reveal ALL.
If you have the courage, I encourage you to record or write down your dreams. They will reveal things about you that may well remain hidden to your everyday waking and conscious mind. Dreams will often speak in symbol, myth, and metaphor but they will also speak with unvarnished honesty. They will begin the process of making the unconscious conscious.
Let the healing and the expansion of your conscious awareness begin!