Just curious…do you somehow KNOW through dreams or intuition or gut feelings when a relationship in your life is coming to an end?
Years ago, I was a single dad with full time custody of my 2 young children. At that time, I had made a lot of close friendships with single moms who were working full time and raising their kids by themselves full time. It’s a lot of work being a custodial parent who also works full time, and I had a certain loyalty towards my single mom friends. I sort of identified with them.
Without knowing it at the time I was probably working through some old abandonment issues and as they healed there was this inner knowing that my time hanging with the single moms was coming to an end.
But I’m sometimes slow to respond to inner knowings. LOL!
Then I had this profound dream where a single mom and her two kids came to my house and rang the doorbell. But as I got up to answer the door I turned into the Grim Reaper! Complete with scythe, black robe and hood and a very deep voice. LOL! But I waved it all away and went to answer the door. I went back to being “John” again and as I opened the door, I was happy to see the mom and her kids.
The dream left me unsettled. I had a lot invested in my identity as “single dad with custody of my kids”. And a lot invested in being one of the helpful supporters of fellow single moms. And being in a community of single parents.
But the death was imminent. I could try and wave it off over and over again, but I could feel it. Time to move on. Something new awaited. New friendships. A whole new identity.
Still…the future was uncertain, and I did not know exactly what lay ahead for me so I tried for a while to hang on. It didn’t work.
Another time I had a top salesman who worked for me. He was a great guy; a superb salesman and we bonded over work and mutual love for college football and basketball.
But again, deep down, I began to feel like something just wasn’t there anymore. I began to have repeated dreams where we were dancing on a stage together and as we danced, I would watch him turn into a skeleton. It was like I always ended up dancing, not with my salesman, but with death.
Again, the dreams were unsettling. There is always the temptation to take dreams literally and dreams occupy so many different levels that sometimes they are literal. So I began to worry about his health and whether he might be sick or dying.
But no. He was fine. Still is today. But our time together was what was dying. Again, I was slow to respond to this, but I could feel it. Our time together was over. And then it ended.
It has taken me most of my life to be at peace with relationships that come and go. Some relationships are temporary. They serve for a period of time. But when the healing or the integration or the learning or the karma has been completed, it is over. Try all you can to resurrect it and it just is never the same. In my experience, it is far easier to just let it go and kiss it goodbye with gratitude.
So what is it like for you? Do dreams guide you around such things? Gut feelings? Knowings? Intuition? Has it been your experience that some relationships have been very instrumental in your life only to have them come to an end? Please share!
Love to All!
John
